he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
