Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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