the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
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