she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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