She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
