She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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