i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
