pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize