Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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