Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
