I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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