i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I will pee on everything he values.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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