I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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