can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
