Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
