She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
