i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Someone shit on the floor
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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