Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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