He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
