he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
