it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
