I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
