as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
