Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize