So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
