you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
