we made out on top of his cat.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
