Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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