I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I wish i was in the wii world.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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