So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
