It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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