I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
