I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize