he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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