you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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