Where are you?
In a non slutty way
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
