I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize