wanna go halves on a baby?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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