I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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