It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
