Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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