Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
