I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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