I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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