OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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