Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
