Apparently you make a good broom.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I need to calm my uterus...
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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