I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
