Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
how does that bad decision feel?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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