Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
