My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
