I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
