I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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