Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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