Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
