I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
