Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
