Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
