Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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