Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
