He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
