Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
