don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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